EP. 63 “This is our mission: All couples on the planet will use their relationship as the vehicle for their own personal transformation.”
You may be familiar with the name of this month’s guest. That’s because I interviewed Marla’s romantic partner – Julian Colker – way back on episode 33 of the Stay Grounded Podcast.
As an entrepreneurial power couple the story is only complete when you interview both halves, so I couldn’t wait to go down the rabbit hole with Marla.
Marla is a relationship & intimacy expert who specializes in coaching entrepreneurial couples.
If you’re in a relationship with another entrepreneur (or someone with an entrepreneur mindset) you’ll understand the specific challenges and opportunities that arise from this union. Fuelled by risk-taking, a growth mindset, and a desire to put yourself ‘out there’, entrepreneurial couples can struggle to create work-life harmony and create quality space for each other.
But use your relationship as a mirror to fuel radical self-awareness, and you can both fly higher.
It’s what Marla helps couples achieve together.
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I am in charge of me. Nobody can shift my balance of my mind, except me.
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Click to shareI took so much away from this episode. Marla oozes with passion and enthusiasm for her work and is overflowing with practical ideas and suggestions that you can start using with your partner today.
From the Mirror Tactic, to the importance of being unapologetically kind, to the power of presence, and the 1-10 test, this episode will equip you with practical things that will help you create more intimacy and connection at home.
When you’re an entrepreneur with a mission and passionate about making your business thrive, it can be hard to create the same levels of success in your relationship.
But as Marla reminds us, how you do one thing is how you do everything.
And if you’re settling in your love life, you’re likely leaving entrepreneurial success on the table too.
So tune in and learn some relationship wisdom from a specialist with over 23 years experience who’s helped over 12,000 couples, including Academy Award winning actors, producers and directors, NBA players and coaches, Grammy Award winning artists, and millionaire entrepreneurs.
Her insights and strategies could change everything for you, the same way it did for me.
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You have to listen, but listen in a particular way because we can listen with judgment or we can with curiosity.
Time Stamped Show Notes
[5:57] I ask Marla what differences she’s found between entrepreneurial couples and conventional couples with regards to the challenges that they face each day. Marla speaks to an entrepreneurial spirit – one that can be possessed by students, employees and, of course, entrepreneurs. She says couples, with that energy, have an ingrained growth mindset, are comfortable with taking risks, allow themselves to be vulnerable and can sit through their own discomfort while still working through to make choices for their highest good. She most enjoys working with people who show up that way in the world; those who want to become the best version of themselves.
[14:43] Marla offers a number of tools, tricks and tips on how to best communicate and grow with your partner. I wanted to understand more about how to create such a strong foundation in a relationship and how to create agreements that are rooted in a shared vision for the future. She says that in order for an agreement to be beneficial for each partner, it needs to be a living, breathing document and requires a continuous check in. To start the conversation, Marla says (during a very calm time) suggest that you and our partner got out for dinner, a walk, for coffee and start the conversation by saying “Hey, I really want to use our relationship as a tool to grow more myself and to grow together. Are you available for that?” If the answer if yes, spend that time together having an honest conversation.
[23:33] Marla says that the best way to attract someone in relationship, that is aligned with you and on the same path, is to be that person. If you want to attract a powerful manifestor, an amazing listener, someone with confidence and passion – be that person. Develop those qualities in yourself and surround yourself the in the spaces and places where those people gather.
[30:10] Marla is brilliant at articulating her emotional states; both she and, her partner, Julian are great at communicating their feelings in a manner that doesn’t offend or come off as aggressive, harmful or hurtful. I had to know how she developed that. She said the single most important thing she’s ever done in her entire life was a Vipassana course, attending a 10 day silent meditation retreat. She did her first retreat in 2003 and she’s been sitting in meditation ever sense. While she says it doesn’t have to be Vipassana, Vipassana is sitting with what is; it calls us to observe the physical sensations that happen in our body and to train our mind to not react to them.
[42:30] I asked Marla if the key was embracing more trust or vulnerability in our relationships and if either quality will better permeate into our businesses? She says it’s more about vulnerability and being powerfully vulnerable. It’s about having a vision and sharing that vision out in the world. She also encourages couples to create a relationship vision together.
Marla and Julian and share a vision that all couples on the planet will use their relationship as the vehicle for their personal transformation.
[52:45] Marla stays grounded by always remembering the truth: she came into this lifetime to be more than a daughter; she came to be a child of the Universe, a child of God. She remembers that she’s here to let that vision flow to her, in every moment.
Marla Mattenson
