EP. 53 I “I had this realization that the greatest gift of being a human is the gift of imperfection. The gods or the universe don’t have the luxury of making mistakes and we do. So I relish in how many mistakes I get to make.”
It’s officially the most wonderful time of the year, everyone! December is my favorite month, with the new year, literally, right around the corner, this is when I like to take a pause, sit back and reflect on the year. What worked, what didn’t work, what are the areas where I can evolve and grow in the upcoming year? 2018 shot by and it’s important that you take a moment to get grounded and align your mindset for success heading into the New Year!
Speaking of success, I can’t wait for you to tune into today’s episode of Stay Grounded. Ian Stanley is a stand up comedian, film maker and one of the best copywriters in the world, selling over $100 million worth of products in the last several years.
Ian joins us today to chat about his journey as an entrepreneur and the session with psychotherapist Brent Charleton that changed his life, his business and set him on a new trajectory of success.
After that session, Ian and Brent joined forces to create the LionHeart workshop, designed to help uncover and resolve the hidden blocks keeping you from success in business, money, personal relationships, confidence or wherever you’re feeling stuck.
I’ve know Ian for a few years and can speak first hand to his transformation. Seeing his journey has been an awesome experience, as I’m always inspired to see entrepreneurs reach a new level of growth.
In this episode, Ian and I talk about fear, pain, and why you need to put yourself through the discomfort of growth. We chat about the core problem with entrepreneurs and their inability to slow down – and the damage this causes.
We also discussed Ian’s ‘Brad Pitt of dogs’ and the two wolf story that can determine whether you live a life of fear or a life of love and joy.
There’s so much good stuff to dive into.
So if you’re always working, constantly self-sabotage your success, or have issues with money…
You should definitely tune into this episode.
Also, heads up. You’re going to hear “teen” and “child” frequently throughout this conversation. This isn’t a reference to either my or Ian’s children or to young Ian and young Raj. The work we’re discussing is based on the 3 Ego States: The Wounded Child, The Adaptive Teen and the Functioning Adult.
This episode is perfect for you if:
- You are looking to make waves in 2019 as entrepreneur, in your career or with overall success.
- You want to reach the next level in business or in your personal life and can’t figure out where to begin.
- You want to align your mindset with your actions and cultivate a life of gratitude, contentment and happiness.
Time Stamped Show Notes
- [07:25] Having already had so much success ,we discuss why Ian felt the need to see a therapist. He discusses how the things that worked in the past were no longer serving him (this is common for a lot of entrepreneurs) and kept hearing from different masterminds that it would be beneficial for him to go!
- [10:41] This is where we get into the “why,” things that once worked him, stopped working. Ian talks about how these processes were built during his “adaptive teen” phase, the hustle and grind phase. As you move beyond that ego state to the state of the “functioning adult,” your teen has a hard mellowing out and decompressing.
- [12:03] Ian tells us about his moment of enlightenment, it hit when he was 19. As great as it was, he noticed that being cut off from negative emotions left him numb because he was also unable to tap into positivity. He says the work to staying grounded and aware never stops – the degrees to it just change.
- [16:08] Ian talks about how powerful a doing a correction is for tackling old, hindering habits. Now, when his teen makes a cameo appearance – he doesn’t feel the need to succumb to that hustle mentality. The adult takes the reigns, acknowledges the teen and takes the approach to care for himself.
- [17:53] Both the child and the teen are defined by fear. No surprise, right? Ian says that inside each of us, there’s a part of us that’s scared (the child) and a part of us that’s trying to protect us from that fear (the teen).
- [20:21] Stand up is the thing that gets Ian’s heart pumping, it also triggers a lot of fear for him. He talked about the shame and guilt he experienced around stand up and realizing that the fear is stemming from this being the thing that he’s supposed to do. He says there’s “no greater fear than becoming who you are.”
- [24:50] I ask Ian why someone so successful, and aware of it, would put themselves through all of that emotional work? He says most people, when they actually take a minute to look, find that there’s something missing.The problem is, especially w/ entrepreneurs, is that they don’t slow down enough to take that look.
- [32:24] Ian shares a heartfelt story about being reminded about a winner’s mindset and shares with us how feed the good wolf while reconciling the existence of the bad wolf. “Our attachment to emotions is what defines them as “good” or ‘“bad” and each moment we can either resist what’s happening (bad wolf) or surrender to the fact that this moment is your reality and exactly what’s supposed to be happening.”
- [42:14] I ask Ian how he makes the connection between challenges in his health and diet to other areas of his life. He checks in with himself to identify areas where things are going well – typically there’s a correlation. Ex: Having great success at work, being unable to handle that and using that fear to sabotage your body or your relationships.
- [55:15] To stay grounded, Ian visualizes his life in the future with a perspective that it won’t necessarily be better, it’ll just be different. Also being in the adult state, you realize that everyone has equal value and we all just express it differently. We all have our own stuff and it comes from things beyond our control – we’re all just trying our best.